Lot’s Wife
When you don’t want to go
“…Remember Lot’s wife.” Luke 17:32
Scriptures for further reading and study:
We don’t know what Lot’s wife heard. Was she present when the angels appeared to Lot? We don’t know. Lot must have told her something. Yet while Lot’s heart remained “tormented” by the sin of the city, (2 Peter 2:6-8), his wife’s heart seemed to remain attached. When the Lord calls them out, Lot manages just barely to make it out, with eyes straight ahead. But his wife lingers, and turns back, and we know the rest of the story.
“Remember Lot’s wife,” the Lord warns us. Maybe it’s our sentimental makeup. Maybe it’s those extra heartstrings that make us a little more “motherly.” But those same emotions often seem to be the very thing that keeps us attached to the world. (see 1 Corinthians 7)
Sometimes the Lord speaks a word to our husbands, “Lead the family this way” and sisters—do we drag our feet? Do we say “Okay, I will go with you…” but all the while, we have our heads looking back toward our old homeland? For me, this one hit a little too close to home.
Some years back, after spending 17 years being built together with a precious group of saints, 17 years praying for those saints, laboring for many, having them into our home, the Lord began speaking to my husband to go and be a part of raising up a new church group in a small town. And oh I grieved. All I saw before me was my home. My children. Their little feet had run through this house ten thousand times. The saints had been in our home for many meals and studies. The youth… the comforts, the memories…
Somehow, I’d felt led to memorize Hebrews 11 that year. Which was helpful, but oh. It hurt. We so quickly grow attached to this world. We enjoy our homes. We enjoy the predictability of the day-to-day. The safety of knowing… even if my home isn’t perfect, it’s where I’ve been all these years, it’s where I’ve had so many memories. Yet God is calling us out and onward. There’s a promised land he has in view. And if we settle in this foreign land, if we make this sinful world our home, he can’t fully bring us into all that he has for us. The men and women of faith in Hebrews 11 often didn’t quite know or understand what was on the other side. Hebrews 11:8 tells us they went out “not knowing where they were going…” and that many of these saints of old didn’t yet “receive what was promised” (11:13) … but how did they do it? How did they leave behind homes and families, and the comforts of this life? Sisters, this isn’t easy.
Sometimes, the Lord begins to show our husbands… “move forward.” It may not be a physical move (and the thing on the other side may not be bad), but in a large family decision, or a spiritual move–but what is our response? Do we drag our feet? Do we say, “okay,” but with hearts yearning for something behind us? Stepping forward with our feet, but with eyes looking backward? Sometimes our “foot-dragging” is because we don’t know the future. The Lord hasn’t spoken a word to us yet. Sometimes we may not fully trust our husbands. (That’s another topic for another time)
But sometimes we do know a little. Deep within, we know this is the way the Lord is leading. And we’re dragging our feet because we just. don’t. want to. We allow our conscience to bend a little because we don’t fully have all the pieces. We allow ourselves to look back and linger because we’re just not quite sure what is ahead of us and behind us is so much more comfortable that we want to stay there and look at what we’ve “attained” and remember.
And of course, there are times and seasons to remember. God isn’t calling us to forget all our memories. He’s not asking us to pretend like there weren’t wonderful experiences or things that happened in the past, even in this spot. (In fact, scripture tells us repeatedly, “Remember what I’ve done,” and “Tell of his faithfulness.”)
But are we willing? And if we’re not, are we willing to be willing? Sometimes, the Lord does speak to our husbands first, and we don’t feel we can just go along, yet. But if that’s our case, can we prostrate ourselves before the Lord and say, “Lord here I am, if this is of you, make me willing.” There are attachments to that old place, or that old situation, or that thing He’s asking us to leave. There are memories and stories and in so many ways it would just be more comfortable, safer… to just stay. Paul alludes to this in Philippians 3. There are so many things he has already been delivered from, so many victories already won, so much already accomplished for the Lord… And yet, he says, “I press on to what lies ahead.”
I press on.
Is this not God’s call to us as well? How many times in scripture did God’s people settle when he was calling them on to more? Too many times. And do you know who is most often affected? The next generation.
*Insert note on Lot’s daughters
We remember the Promised Land, how God wanted to lead his children in … and all they saw were giants. Big giants. Of course, God wanted to deliver them from these giants. Of course, he was going to fight these battles for them and in the process, reveal his glory to their children, just as he had done for them at the Red Sea and through the 10 Plagues. He wanted to show himself to their children, even in this. But all they saw were the giants. And they missed out on the glorious victories God wanted to show their children. Eventually, in his rebuke to the Israelites, he tells them, “I will bring your children into this land, the land you thought was going to destroy them,… but they will suffer because of you.” (See Number 13, Deuteronomy 11, Psalm 90:16).
When we stop going forward, we hurt our children and those coming after us. When we settle, we fail to pass down those things we’ve received, and we cause our children to wander for another 40 years.
We’re the people of God, called to live by faith.
Faith isn’t something we can manufacture. But as we yield ourselves before the Lord, and we say, “Lord make me willing” …. we fix our eyes on Jesus, remembering he is the AUTHOR and perfector of faith. He begins to give us the faith to go forward. He speaks a word in our heart, or wake us up with verse, and suddenly, we see things in a new light. Sometimes, the Lord is not going to give all the pieces. He’s not going to tell us what it looks like in the Promised Land or how long it’s going to take us to get there or if we’ll have enough money to make the journey. Sometimes, we are called to go forward and we don’t have all the information. And sisters, we like our comfortable lives. It’s hard to step forward when we don’t have the pieces. It’s hard to leave behind years of memories and not know what’s ahead. It’s hard to pack up a settled lifestyle and travel in tents to the unknown. Maybe for a few, this is easy, but for most of us, this is very hard work.
Only when we fix our eyes on him, is it possible. “Lord increase our faith” must be our prayer. “I am willing to be made willing.” And our eyes must stay heavenward. It is the only way.
One final note: When we finally made our move, after seventeen years in one church–I cried and cried and cried. Then my emotions went numb. And I just kept going through the motions. But one day, after two years of going back and forth, just as we were about to sell our home and purchase a new one in our new hometown, I cried out to the Lord. With my whole heart, speaking aloud, I began to tell the Lord all the people I would miss. All the souls I longed for him to reach and to help. All the memories and unfinished work. All those left behind, still in need of comfort and support and encouragement. And as I prayed, the Lord lifted the grief from my heart. Isaiah says he will give us, “a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness.” (Isaiah 61:3), and as I poured out my heart to the Lord, that was my experience. But I also realized something that day. Paul was frequently traveling from place to place. Frequently leaving saints behind. Often burdened for ones beyond his reach or ability to help. But what did he do? He prayed. Over and over, we see him closing his letters with great long lists of names of the people he prayed for. I realized that day, that though I was leaving one world behind, I was still fully able to entrust them to the Lord. I also realized, “He has born our griefs” means I have to actually leave my grief with him. How can he bear it otherwise? Yet as I poured out my heart to him, with all my concerns for the saints we were leaving behind, with all of my griefs … He truly met me. He took my sorrow, and almost in an instant–filled me with joy. Praise God.
For further meditation and discussion:
- Are there areas where the Lord has spoken to your husband about something and you are dragging your feet?
- What can you do if your husband is leading the family in a certain way and you strongly disagree, even after much prayer (this will be discussed more in the study on Esther)?
- Have you had an experience where you were unwilling, and the Lord changed your heart?
- How did Lot’s wife looking back affect her daughters?
Find more from this series, Wives from the Word, here.
