As For Me and My House, We Will Serve the Lord
When our first child was born 13 years ago, we wrestled with this question: should we continue to be so involved in the church? We knew the horror stories of teens falling away, of PK’s becoming disillusioned with the church. We encountered those who fully expected us to back out of everything. We loved our son deeply, but what of the many children and teens, and young adults who’d held a place in our hearts and prayers for so long? When this verse came to us, it was the beginning of a revelation, about how we served in the church, about how we saw our children, about what it should look like for a family growing up in the church, burdened for his people. Is there a way for our children to be fully loved, while still reaching others in the church? Is there a way to reach those in the church, without alienating our own children and family back home? Yes. We believe there is. This is our story.
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).
It was Joshua’s declaration before the Israelites, and for many of us today, this verse has become our testimony as well. We read it at our weddings. We hang it on our walls. And as we do, we declare: “[We] have decided to follow Jesus,” and we’re taking our family with us.
Almost from the time my husband and I were saved, we served in the church, especially among teens and college students. Eventually, we married; and together, we consecrated our marriage to the Lord. By his grace, we would serve him.
Five years into our marriage, we rejoiced when I became pregnant with our first child. But soon, many began to question if we could still serve. Some even expressed dismay. They didn’t say it, but the feeling implied was this: our lives would be just too busy to serve with children.
Our hearts ached with uncertainty. But the burden for the younger generation remained. As the Lord began adding to our family, we resolved to stay involved. It would look different, we knew. It’s not so practical to bring toddlers and babies to late-night youth gatherings. But could we open up our home? Could we bring our children alongside us as we continued to work among the Lord’s people?
When we first began, we didn’t know what to expect. But as we’ve served together these last ten years, we discovered something: involving our children in service not only strengthened us as a family, it’s actually made us more effective in reaching the church.
As for me and my house, *we* will serve the Lord
Surely, when Joshua spoke this now-famous verse, he was taking a stand. But in his stance, he testifies, “…we will serve…” Even more than a stance, there is a declaration of service, and specifically, that we, as a household, will serve the Lord.
And so, baby in tow, still struggling to navigate our new world of sleepless nights and mysterious baby cries, we cast ourselves on the Lord and set our hearts to do just that.
The blessings of serving as a family
Do you know what we discovered?
We discovered having a baby made us more approachable. Even the shyest teenager would now linger by our side, eager to see the baby. Young sisters would volunteer to watch our children and then stay after we returned to ask Bible questions. College students visited to enjoy a family meal, then hung around after bedtime to share struggles and pray together.
Having children also gave us a new lens to see the world through eyes of brokenness and mercy. Our youth didn’t always connect with the young couple who had all the correct answers or had memorized hundreds of verses. But they opened their hearts wide to the broken parents freshly experiencing the mercy of God, who could now offer it freely to his children.
They embraced invitations to our messy, chaotic dinner table and smiled with delight when our children greeted them at the door to drag them off to play. They needed these tangible reminders of the joys of everyday family life, to remember that this life in Christ is more real and more beautiful than all the accolades promised by the world, hard at work trying to steal their soul.
The benefits of serving as a family
Of course, college and youth ministry have their perks, too. I could fill a book listing blessing after blessing that we have received as we’ve opened our home to this younger crowd. But when our oldest stopped singing in the church gatherings and our parental prodding had no effect, we discovered perhaps the greatest blessing of serving as a family.
When our son stopped watching us, he began to watch this younger generation, who grew up in our living room, those he knew so well from hours playing chess together or chasing in the yard as they visited time after time. When he noticed these older youth participating, he began to join in again.
When one of these young men recently shared at our local youth conference, our son returned with joy, recounting the entire message. Two more former youth recently began leading our local youth meetings. The same ones we poured our lives out for, are now pouring their lives out for our children.
As we’ve opened our home to share meals and fellowship, our college crew has become like family. Through drawing lessons, chess games, and silly snap-chat pictures, they’ve loved our children well. And our children love them back. If asked the highlight of the week, our children will quickly tell you it’s Saturday night, when the youth gather in our home. Somehow, that “service” that was supposed to be “too much” has become the very thing needed to bring our children to love the body of Christ.
The protection of serving as a family
For many years, we’ve heard the encouragement to focus on our families, and let those without kids do the serving. Or perhaps we’ve sent Dad off to help while Mom stayed back with the children. But how many of us have seen children grow up in the house of God, only to leave in their youth because they don’t feel “at home” with the Lord’s people? How many teens have we seen lose interest because they can’t find their place in the church? You can almost hear the grieving echo of the apostles’ voice, “my brethren, these things ought not to be!” (See James 3:10 NASB)
But when we bring our children alongside in service, we demonstrate that our Lord and his people are worth our investment. We give rides to an elderly sister, and connect our children to those who’ve gone before them. We ask for their help passing out hymnals, and we affirm they’re needed here, too. Is this not a higher calling for our families? If we fix our eyes on the Lord Jesus and seek to serve him as a household, perhaps our children wouldn’t despise our service to the Lord, instead remembering it as a joyful experience they shared with us.
Of course, there are times when the family must stay back. When Moses traveled to Egypt, he left Zipporah and the children behind (Exodus 18:2). When Paul speaks of service, he talks of it being easier for one who is single (1 Corinthians 7). And when my husband travels for ministry, sometimes we go with him, but often, we also stay behind. But because we have seen how much our children add to our ability to serve the saints each time he travels, we ask the Lord, “Should we travel as a family?” And many times, we do.
Not just for church leaders–but for every family
Maybe you don’t serve the youth, but you greet the saints as they arrive on Sunday. Perhaps you make the coffee or teach a class. Wherever you help in the Lord’s house, take a moment to involve your children and explain what you’re doing. Pull them on your lap as you’re preparing. Share a burden and bring them along as you pray. When Paul and Luke were leaving the city of Tyre, the saints came to pray and send them out “with women and children” (Acts 21:5). When our Lord Jesus was sharing with crowds, there were almost always children present. On one occasion, as he ministered to the people, he “called to a child to come,” and stand with him. As he began to share with the young child at his side, he told those around, “Whoever welcomes one of these little ones… [to your side, as you serve], welcomes me.” (brackets added, Matthew 18:2-5 NIV)
Bring your children alongside you in ministry. Bring them alongside you in prayer. Let them know your burden when one is lost. Let them know your joy when one is found. May the Lord encourage us as we seek to serve Him, side by side, together as a household.
May our lives cry out, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
This article was written many years ago. It first ran at Momma Theologians.
